4 - Runaway

Like I said on the last post, I had a proper blowout with Edwin when he snatched my new phone off me. I was raging. Not even just angry — hurt as well, if I’m honest. Because it wasn’t just the phone, was it? It was him basically saying, you don’t get a say in your own life.

And Evan… that whole “wait for Evan” thing. The way his name gets dropped like he’s some boss level that turns up when he feels like it. I hated that. Still do.

Anyway. I must’ve nodded off at some point, because next thing I know it’s early morning and my head’s still buzzing. And I just thought: I’m done. I need air. I need space. I need to be somewhere normal.

So… out the window, onto the extension roof, down onto the patio, through the gate. Heart going like mad, but I didn’t even hesitate. Went round the back, past the school, and as I’m coming to the end of the ginnel I hear the bus coming. I just start sprinting like an idiot. It actually went past me, but the driver must’ve clocked me because he stopped at the stop up the road.

Honestly… thank God for that.

I jump on, straight into town, then train station. I buy a ticket to Knaresborough — my mate Steve lives there. If I was going anywhere, it was gonna be Steve. Safe place. Normal. No weird rules. No secrets. No vampires.

Train to Leeds, change at Leeds for Knaresborough, get there, walk over to Steve’s. His mum and dad’s house is proper nice — right by the river. I knock, his mum answers, and she gives me this look like… What are you doing here? Not rude, just surprised.

So I stick to the story. I tell her I’ve lost my job and I needed time out, so I thought I’d come see Steve. She asks if I’d phoned him and I just say I can’t — lost my phone, no money to replace it.

She looked at me a bit funny after that. Like she wasn’t fully buying it. But she let me in anyway.

Steve must’ve heard us because he comes down like, “What are you doing here?”

And I just… told him the version I could tell. Ill, missed work, got let go. Kept it simple. Kept them out of it. Edwin. Evan. All of it. Because by then I’d realised — whatever this is, it’s serious. And saying the wrong thing to the wrong person could mess everything up. Or get someone hurt. And I know how mad that sounds… but yeah.

We go up to his room and he’s on his Xbox. The second I saw it I felt this stupid wave of relief, like I’d stepped back into my real life for a second. So I grab the other controller and we just… played. FIFA, don’t judge. Then a bit of COD, Modern Warfare, couple other games. Just normal stuff. Just noise. Just escape.

And it helped. Proper helped. Because for a few hours I wasn’t thinking about Edwin grabbing the phone off me, or Evan’s face, or that feeling that my life isn’t mine anymore. I could actually breathe.

We had tea, went back on Xbox, then Steve’s mum had sorted a spare room for me. I had a shower, got into bed, and for the first time in days I slept without my head spinning.

Next day Steve was already at work when I woke up. He’s at Morrisons at the moment — warehouse stuff, stacking shelves, whatever he can get while he looks for something better. So I just chilled, went on his Xbox again, tried not to overthink.

He got back about three, and we went out for a walk — down by the river, up over Horseshoe Fields, just chatting. And that was the hardest part, in a weird way. Because it felt normal. Like I could’ve told him everything. Like I wanted to.

But I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

So I stayed in my boring little cover story — being ill, losing my job, family stuff. And I hated it, because Steve’s my mate. Proper mate. And I was sat there lying through my teeth.

I did borrow his phone though. I messaged my girlfriend — just said I needed a bit of time out because I’d lost my job and my head was mashed, but I’d see her soon. Told her if she needed me, message Steve’s phone and I’d see it.

Even typing that… it felt horrible. Because I wanted to tell her I was scared. I wanted to tell her none of this is normal. I wanted to tell her I miss her. But how do you even start that conversation when you can’t say the truth?

Steve had a girlfriend too, so he went out with her a couple of nights. She’s nice, to be fair. So I was on my own a bit sometimes, which was probably for the best. Gave me time to think… even though thinking is the last thing I needed.

Anyway, after a few weeks, Steve surprised me. He tells me he’s got a website — like he’s learned how to do websites and all that. Proper random, but also… it matters. And I’ll explain why in the next post.

It might get a bit boring for a bit, I’m not gonna lie. But I’m back. Evan brought me back. And he’s said he’ll be coming round soon to actually talk to me — properly — and tell me where he’s been.

Apparently he had to go off for a few days, and he told me not to go out because he won’t be around. Which… yeah. Great.

He also mentioned he’s off to see someone he called “Prof”. No idea who that is. Might find out. Might not.

That’s it for today.

I’ll try and post again tomorrow.